Tuesday, April 17, 2012

1st Time . . .

Today is a first for us and unfortunately it is a sad situation.

We are taking our oldest to a funeral.

Our oldest doesn't really know the deceased, he knows his son.

Scoots and his friend met many years ago.  His friend is a bit older than Scoots, but someone how they got along perfectly!  His friend is actually a family friend and very close friend of Scoot's Aunt Julie.

TA and Scoots met back when he was younger.  Scoots was about 4 and TA was 30.  They hit is off.  Both were into cartoons, toys, bikes and giving my sister grief.  They always had fun together.  Scoots would give TA grief about his hat, his mess and whatever else was suggested by those around.  TA played along with this 4 year old . . . giving him grief about what he watched and the way he talked.  For TA to be a single guy . . . he always made time for him and he was always kind to Scoot's.

TA has such a giving heart.  And ours is so very sad for him.  His dad passed the Thursday before Easter.  He was overseas.  Today is the first memorial service for him.  This family has had to spend every day for the last 12 . . . counting down to today.  Planning for today.

I have heard that TA and his dad spoke hours before he passed.  We are all so grateful he had that last chat.  He knew his dad loved him and was looking forward to his visit.  They were going to open a restaurant overseas.

I have seen post after post telling stories of TA's Dad and his travels, his love of football and his love for his family.  Countless facebook post tell of his love of music and desire to sing at all times.  I have seen pictures of he and his dad.  Probably the most moving one looks like TA was 11 - he is up in his dad's arms and the love between them both - has been caught on film for a lifetime.

Our oldest feels it is important for him to be there for his friend.  He just told me he is a little nervous.  He is nervous about seeing his friend after all this time.  He is nervous attending his first funeral.  But I suspect he is more nervous to see his friend sad, to see the tears of the missed opportunities and no more tomorrows, and to hear the sadness of saying goodbye.

I too have a hard time seeing people's grief, hearing their cries.  While I didn't know TA's dad my heart breaks for him and his mom.  His death was unexpected but I know this family had their affairs in order.  They had said the I love yous.  They had made a time for them to be together in the near future.  They knew there were no others . . . more important that the three of them.

Tonight . . . both of our boys asked for some extra time with me.  I always read books and sing their special songs.  And despite my huge sinus headache, dishes to be done, clothes laid out for tomorrow and homework proofed, I spent some extra time with both . . .

I made sure they knew we loved them . . .

I made sure they knew we are proud of them . . .

and I made sure they knew there was nothing more important that me being with them right that minute.

We are not guaranteed tomorrow . . . or even a half hour from now.  My job, just as Joe did for TA . . . was to make sure my boys knew they matter to me.


No comments:

Post a Comment