Today in my SPAM folder I had an email.
It is quite possibly life changing. See . . . I received an email from Joseph Kentwa. Joseph was emailing me to let me know my life will never be the same.
I am a millionaire!
It seems a long lost relative has some property overseas and died while out of the country.
I am almost certain it is a cliff side property in the municipality of Monaco. Or perhaps it is on the French Riviera! It might be an ocean front white adobe house with a blue roof in Mykonos. Maybe George Clooney and I are new neighbors at Lake Como . . . oh the parties and the boating! Just wait till I post the pictures! Or maybe it might be an English castle just a stones throw to Will and Kate! Kate could so by my new BFF!
Why, oh why, didn't he tell me where?
Maybe it is straight up cash . . . and lots of it! Seriously, could not come at a better time . . . tuition is due for 2012/2013. I am going to get the cleaning lady 5 days a week, cute cabana boy - who must wear a speedo, lots of umbrella drinks! I was needing a new wardrobe, maybe I will get a summer fur, and while he just bought a new sports car . . . I am wanting a little Porsche myself! We were just talking about a two week cruise with the boys - penthouse cabins for everyone . . . everyone!!!! We will need our private jet so we can get to Chicago for some good deep dish! Anyone with a jet KNOWS it must hold 8 to 12! Who wants to travel alone????
Oh . . . Happy Days!
Here is THE proof of my vast wealth!
FOR YOUR KIND ATTENTION:
Joseph Kentwa is my name, the Regional/Property and Portfolio
manager finance/security firm. I managed a particular account for a Resident
Foreign client, who died Intestate.
This contact became necessary as I need
your representation to reclaim the funds before they get confiscated
or declared unserviceable. A Government Mandatory formality notice
already been issued to provide the Kin or have the deposit confiscated
this should expire within a month.
However, having satisfied the
mandatory legal requirement of Kin
notification, I now seek your
representation and with your consent and
perfect understanding to present you
as the kin to the client guaranteeing
the proceeds of this deposit be signed
off to you upon clearance of the
relevant release process.
require is your honest cooperation and confidence in me; which I
not come easy. I however, guarantee here that this will be
executed under a
legitimate background that will protect you and me from
any breach of the
Law. I would advice that you give this a positive
consideration and get back
to me soon.
Upon receipt of your response which I await eagerly; I will
bring you into
a clearer picture of this risk free transaction when I have
Wait . . . What . . . You don't think this is real? Come on! All I need to do is cooperate and have confidence in Joseph and this legitimate business deal will happen! Stop wasting my time . . . If I don't act fast . . . the government will seize it!
I tell you what . . . .Joseph . . . you go ahead and let the government seize it! Since we have a Democratic President who is all in favor of providing handouts and expecting the wealthy to cover the cost through higher taxes while loosing tax breaks and some tax benefits provided to only 1% of the population.
That is right . . . I am going to take one for the team! Joseph, you have my permission to hand it all over to the President of the US and let him know I got my block and family covered for life on the higher taxes and loss of tax breaks/benefits for all the middle, upper and wealthy people on my street! I have got them covered with my big windfall!
Hell, I might even have a little more to cover some friends . . . anyone else want me to cover their higher taxes also?
All of you go check your SPAM folder . . . you just might be a millionaire also!