Monday, January 23, 2012

You Is Kind . . .

Recently I was in carpool line, waiting to drop Jake off.  It seems the car in front of me had a reluctant little girl who didn't want to go to school that day.  As is protocol, you wait in line, you don't try to jump ahead, race around the car to move up to another drop off spot.  After all we are talking about kids, young children getting out of cars and walking into school.  Anything could happen - the kid could chase after their car, drop something, step off the curb . . . anything.

So, as reluctant Sally gets out of the car and the door shuts, off goes mom.  I start to move ahead and some dad in a small SUV whips around me, cuts me off all so he can unload his precious cargo a tad bit faster.  I, of course, throw up the "what the hell" hands.  You know, both arms fly up, no one finger more pointy than the other, palms to the sky.  He ignores me, which I am kinda grateful for after realizing we are in our school carpool and I have a very distinct vehicle, a black Hummer, the big kind. Hard to miss, easy to remember.

I kinda stewed about it for a bit, until I was entering Cheesecake Factory that afternoon.  I am trying to teach my 4 year old to be a gentleman.  My MIL, Jake and I are walking through the door.  I remind him "gentlemen hold the doors for ladies."  He does his very best to pull the heavy door open with his little 4 year old body and hold his body against it.  He struggles, but I let him own it.  He finally gets it open and is very proud of himself.  I say "Thank you kind sir."  My MIL say "What a nice gentlemen."  The woman who passes next through his open door heard my conversation with him, and just blows on by.  My MIL tells Jake, "I bet she was thankful also", she then turns to me and says "you would think that woman could have said thank you after him making a big deal of getting the door."

After these incidents and a few others I was loosing faith in kind words, kind gestures and common courtesy. I was worrying about the future, will no one have any manners?  We really stress to our boys to use kind words, kind gestures and common courtesies.  Open doors, use kind words and do what I call "the lake house wave."  The lake house wave is a casual wave, it is a way of life at the lake.  It is an acknowledgement of your existence.  It doesn't matter if you are out mowing your lawn, or on a boat passing our dock, or finding a spot at the ONLY store in Gun Barrel City, a Walmart, it is a simply side to side wave that mean you matter.  My family is big on using the lake house wave even here in Dallas.  Someone lets me over, we wave them.  Someone, wants over, we wave them in.  We pass our neighbors on the street, we wave and even school community members - we are wavers.  Waving requires so little of you but makes someone feel better.

It seems more and more there was a lack of people being kind.  I had thought about blogging on it before today, something like where have manners gone?  Then it happened . . .

My husband and I had taken out oldest and a friend to dinner.  The restaurant was very busy. So, busy we had to sit the boys at one two top, and we were at another next to them.  We eat, good customer service, pay our bill and into the car.  As we are pulling out of the lot I see our waitress running after our car.  It seems we had left my take home box on the table and she was bringing it to me.   She could have easily thrown it away, looked around for us and then given up, but no she chased us out of the restaurant and brought it out to me. We thank her so much for tracking us down, and I was even more thankful the next day when I had my left overs for lunch. 

Yesterday, we took the family to Studio Movie Grill to see Red Tails. It is a movie about the Tuskegee Airmen.  While watching it, Jake became disinterested.  He came and sat with me.  He wanted to play with my phone but I moved it away.  The movie ends and we head home.  Approximately 7 hours later, I realize I don't have my phone.  I am fairly certain I put it in my bag.  AND of course, it is on vibrate from the movie.  The boys and myself move from room to room.  I am begging them to be extremely quiet, do you know how hard that is?   I am getting stressed about not finding it.  Stress does not make me a good mommy.  I put everyone to bet and have resigned myself that it is not here.  Maybe it is at the movies, NO, I am pretty sure I put it in my bag.

I call, and call, and call and as is customary for movie theatres, you go to voice mail.  It was 11pm last night when my husband suggest I go to the theatre.  Off I go. They were closing when I got there.  I told the very first person I saw, "I left my phone here during the 11am showing.  Can you show me where to find it?" 

We walk to the back.  She disappears into a room with a lock and peep hole.  She pops back out, nothing in her hands.  She asks me to identify the phone.  I say it is an IPhone, gee that narrows it down, with a blue and black rubber case on it.  She says she will have to look again.  My heart is racing and I am saying a silent prayer to St. Anthony!

My faith is restored!  Some kind person turned my phone in.  It had been sitting in the manager's safe all afternoon. HALLELUJAH!!!!  Finding this phone just saved me from having to buy another IPhone.  What I didn't realize until this morning was, that I had left my credit card and license stuck in the back of the protector.  I was blessed in so many ways.  I am back on the people are good and kind and courteous train.  Not to mention life long supporter of Studio Movie Grill - Royal Lane!!

It is funny how you can start seeing things, start believing what you are seeing and making absolutes.  Only to have your faith restored in more people are kind and good than not!

While writing this I have reflected often on what I pass on to our boys and what Aibileen says in the movie The Help. "You is Kind, You is Smart, You is important."  Maybe if we stress the "You is Kind" part a little more, we will start to see a difference in the community around us.

Small acts of kindness really do add up.  I will continue to harp at these young men in my care to be gentlemen, and you do the same with yours.  It is good to know, good manners are still important!

1 comment:

  1. It is true what you give out does come back. It takes to little time to be kind and the waves of kindness comes right back to you. Great lesson.