Monday, September 17, 2012

Why Me?

A few weeks back an Associate Pastor was speaking on "Why Me." He wondered why when things are bad do we ask "Why me?" "Why would God do this to me?" "Why is God not there to help me?” and so on.
AND THEN . . . I found myself say why me.  This morning was difficult - not for any one big reason but for about 10 little ones - just things were not going right.

I had gotten our youngest to school only to realize as we pull in he had two left shoes. His first two years of wearing shoes he couldn't be bothered to put them on the right foot. He didn't care if they were wrong and the school didn't either - they . . . WE ALL . . . were just thrilled he had learn to put on shoes - who really cared if right was on left or left on right. BUT it seems this morning Jake did. He did care and he cared A LOT!!! I tried my best to do anything but have to go back home. I even suggested he wear the bigger "left" shoe on his right foot and the just slighter smaller "left" shoe on his left foot - clearly a mother of the year move! Come on - this kid didn't care for years - can't we just get through this one little day.


As we pulled on campus I made a u-turn and we were headed back home.

I am then tempted, but don’t tell my husband, to just keep him at home with me. His school is really uptight about being late . . . late or just miss - which is worse??? Really . . . he is 4 and goes for 3 hours . . . but that could be 3 hours of getting stuff done so . . .

I rushed home. I left Jake in the car - ran inside our house - grabbed the 2 right shoes and back in the car, prepared to fight the traffic down Hillcrest at 8:20 in the morning. I get him to school, sign in, accept the annoyingly bright pink TARDY slip from the not so nice front door greater and proceed to walk Jake across campus to his class.

We arrive at his class - I want my kiss and he wants anything but that. He kind of sends me packing . . . but that is another story :(

I am off . . . AGAIN!

I head up to Walgreen’s to pick up my script. School is South of my house about 5 miles, Walgreen's in North of my house 1 mile. It is then I learn the "new girl" who told me that they had my non-generic medicine was wrong and no one tried to call. After 20 mins of determining NONE of the other Walgreen's have it (which I already knew since I had visited 3 the prior day trying to track the med down, I call the one independent pharmacy in Dallas.

They had the medicine - won't hold it for me, first come/first serve speech, and I am off . . . Royal and Preston. Now probably 10 miles South again. Down . . . Up . . . Down . . . Up . . . Down . . . and my poor little car only gets 10 miles to the gallon!

This intersection is not my normal stomping ground so I decided to wait for my prescript. 40 mins later . . . Mrs. P it will be $197.23 . . . WHAT?!?!?!?!? Damn insurance -when you want a non-generic prescript, when a generic is available, you must sell your first born to get it. Not how I thought this would go . . . I tell her to hold it - I wanted to check with my insurance. Guess what - it is $197.23

Deflated - I decided to drive by my friend's beautiful new house and see the new fence they put up . . . bless them . . . it seems the fence is too high and they are having to ask the city to waive the restriction since the fence it already up. These sweet people are counting on not having difficult neighbors who protest the fence.

I think . . . coffee . . . that will turn my morning around . . . latte machine broken! Morning not turned around.

Let me run into Sample House - buying something for Pokeno will make me happier. Bought nothing.

I couldn't get any good parking for another store.

Bakery wasn't open.

Driving aimlessly . . . I end up at Target. I have a return to make . . . can this happen smoothly - no receipt - I just want . . . need to get this done.

I was incredibly beat down and I really just wanted to go home and do nothing.

I had thought a few times this morning "What is going on?" "Why can I not get anything going in the right direction?” I reflected back on what the Assoc. Pastor had said . . . Why do we only wonder, when things are bad, why me? We should be wondering when things are good why me!

So there - deep in thought, well as much as I could be, walking across the Target parking lot - in 106 degrees horrible hot Texas heat - I thought . . . not "why me" that things are bad - but "why me" that things are good - I am breathing . . . I get to have lunch with my so very smart but puts me through the paces 4 year old . . . I have a date night with my hubby . . . I am able to be a stay at home mom . . . I have a car . . . It has air conditioning . . . I have a home . . . and I have money to buy food for our family and completely unnecessary Halloween stuff that I so love.

I have so much to say "Why Me" about and it was then that my day got better.

I had a great lunch, in a very crowded Mooyah, with our sweet 4 year old. It was so crowded that I took the only seat at the last table available so that Jake could have a place to sit and eat. I could wait or eat standing up - not a big deal. We had a seat and table.

It got better . . . a stranger, a man in a Harley jacket, with a motorcycle helmet resting on a chair, got up and moved his chair to Jake's table for me. All I could do was thank him. His kindness and thoughtfulness was appreciated.

Jake and I laughed. He showed me a game on the phone. We talked about making good decisions. We spent time together not distracted by nonsense but focused on him.

A simple change in how I was thinking changed more than just my thoughts.  It made my day a million times better.

My husband came home from work early, we had a great date night, awesome swim practice, homework was done, prepared for a test the next day, song and books before bed, easily 17 I love yous before they drifted off to sleep.

My no good very horrible morning turned into a pretty perfect kind of day!

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