Thursday, February 9, 2012
Not Without a Fight. . . Part 4
It was there that I lost it. I told her I cannot do this in 10 days. I need to pick my child up from school in 45 minutes. That I had a busy schedule there was soccer practice, birthdays, Halloween, football - that we have Thanksgiving plans - I did not have time to wait for 10 days. She says she will do what she can.
I call on our home line, he was on his cell. I could hear the conference call going on; when he whispers "Hey is everything ok? I am still on the call." He hears me whimper and I hear his negotiation call go dead. I was trying to put on a brave face, to protect him from my sadness and frightening news. He asks several time with increased panic "what is wrong", "are you ok"; I have a hard time answering him. I do my best to tell him in a calm voice I am scheduled for a sonogram guided needle biopsy within the hour. He asks where I am at, I tell him not to come. "Someone has to take care of Jake." I finally convince him he can do no good at the hospital with me, he cannot even get back to where I am . . .alone . . . sad . . . and frightened.
He starts researching what I just told him. He calls on a client who is a surgeon. He learns the sonogram guided needle biopsy is routine. Well, routine for this, not routine for me! He calls me back - he is armed with information. He is feeling more in control. He wants me to know this is standard. He walks me through the steps. We both operated better if well informed. I just hadn't thought to ask any questions.
The nurse calls me back again. Her face has changed; her demeanor is more calm and serious. I am quiet as a church mouse, and that is extremely out of character. Again, I was on the gurney, again with the Dr. from earlier. I sign whatever they put in front of me. I am positioned for the biopsy, lay here, move up, bend your right arm, and put it behind your head. I am told to look away and think of something pleasant. Pleasant . . . was 3 days ago when I didn't know I would have to be here.
Needle inserted, clip clip clip, needle out.
Continued tomorrow . . .