Monday, February 20, 2012

M A J O R Jerk . . . Part 1

I was really struggling with what to blog today.  I had started 7 different posts but just wasn't feeling them! I have opinions on so many things which makes it very hard to narrow it down.  It is really tough.  Then it hit me!

While sitting in morning carpool . . . singing to the radio . . . Jake and I just hanging out until the teachers arrive to open the car doors.  There is it!  There HE is!  The deadbeat of all deadbeats.  Biggest ass on the planet.  There he stands with his two boys holding signs up for the Boy Scouts Can Food Drive.

Stop it right now!!!!!!  Do not let your heart go soft!  This guy is a    M   A   J   O   R   JERK!  He oozes slime, while holding a Boy Scouts sign.  He is in no way a reflection of the Boy Scouts.  I can only assume he has his boys in Boy Scout so they can learn to be the man he isn't!

Normally, this ass, wouldn't even be someone I would know. Or associate with and in all honesty I have spoken less than 20 words to him.  Why less than 20 words . . . well, it is probably by the time I tried to say word number 21 - I would just vomit all I know about him in public.  When I am in ear shot of him, it takes an amazing amount of strength to not let it all go . . .

Back when I was on the Done in a Day committee, through the Junior League of Plano, or what is now knows as The Junior League of Collin County, I met this girl.  Her name was Elizabeth, actually it was something other than Elizabeth, but still of a royal nature.  Catch my drift . . .

One evening . . . we were sitting at Terrilli's Frisco for dinner.  We were there for a committee meeting.  Once the meeting was over the ladies that hung around started to chit chat.  As always with a very self indulgent crowd . . . the talk turned to our lives.  We started discussing cleaning ladies.  Yes . . . that is what Junior League girls do.  We eat, we talk about changing the world, we talk about making our lives easier AND . . . we volunteer ALL THE TIME!

Elizabeth was asking about a referral for a cleaning lady.  I told her we LOVED our cleaning lady.  That she had been with us pre-baby, how she does a great job, does the laundry and that we totally trust her.  I suggested that Elizabeth should give her a call.  Elizabeth says she would call her, once she talked to her husband.  I think nothing of it until my cleaning lady tells me she got the job with Elizabeth.  I think great!  I am sure she will be a nice lady to work for, she seems nice enough in the meetings.  I knew since I only had my cleaning lady twice a week that she had free time.  I was glad it all worked out.  All was good.

Then stuff started getting odd.  I was getting phone calls from Elizabeth, several a day.  Emails.  Invites to dinner.  I had a 1.5 year old, I didn't have time to run and play all over town.  A mutual friend, Patty, made mention of Elizabeth one night at dinner.  I asked Patty is she thought our friend was too consuming.  She did! 

Patty told me how Elizabeth needed to talk every minute on the phone, see you frequently, be involved in your daily life way beyond anyone else.  Elizabeth seemed jealous of our other friends.  She attempted to drive wedges among them, pushing people out.  The girl felt she needed to be involved in all we did.  She wanted to consume and was time consuming.

I was always cordial, after all I saw her at committee meetings, general meetings, special events and volunteer shifts.  My BFF list was full up, and I didn't have time for someone needier than my baby!    After hearing Patty and I talk about Elizabeth, my husband asked me to keep her certain type of crazy away from us. 

Elizabeth was my friend, sort of.  She had never met my husband.  But she would mention us in conversations and talk about how she called my husband.  She said she was asking his advice on private schools, testing, his private school experience and so on.  Boundaries were something she lacked.

Fast forward many years.  Elizabeth is married to Major Jerk.  They have two kids, boys.  One is 1.5 years younger than my oldest and the other is one year younger than my youngest.  We have so many similarities in our lives, with the exception of her MAJOR Jerk! 

I didn't really understand her fascination with our life or talking to my husband.  There are FAR more fascinating people to be intrigued about. If you ask me . . . I think we are rather normal if not bordering on boring! 

Elizabeth would ask the cleaning lady what cars we drove, how we got our money (working, was the answer) and about the schools my kids were in.  Where we traveled.  Who my friends were.  She told our mutual cleaning lady she would drive by our house to see what we were doing.  She had a very odd fascination with us.

Then stuff got really weird!

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