M A J O R Jerk . . . Finale

BACKGROUND ON THE DEAL - It seems, and I am foggy on the dates, but the MAJOR JA found a loop hole in their contract.  At the time they entered into the contract they formed a partnership.  The partnership was actually illegal; in the sense of they should never have executed this partnership.  In order to own this mortgage practice business they way they set it up you HAD to be an attorney.  This might have something to do with accepting commissions.  This was MAJOR Jerk's basis for the firing of the partner.

Back to $31M.  MAJOR Jerk wants to fight this.  His counsel contacted my husband's law firm for the appeal.

My husband's law firm specializes in boutique litigation - lots of contract negotiations, partnership break-ups, business splits.  They are total go getters, sharks.  I often feel bad for the opposition, they have no clue what they are up against!


It is early spring 2009.  My husband is home, on the phone with his partner and I see a file sitting next to him.  I don't often get involved.  The situation that got the parties to where my husband is getting involved has nothing to do with me.  I just want him to do his absolute best and kick some ass!  Other than that I don't get involved in work stuff!

The file is sitting there.  I see it and I notice the last name.  It is an unusual last name, to the point I only know of one person with it.  I stop him mid sentence; while he is on the phone with his partner . . . I say "is this" and fill in the name.  He just looks at me, wondering how does she know this person.  Do we have an issue with taking this case?

I tell my husband everything in his file and more.  I remind him about the crazy consuming wife.  I remind him of the guy drunk on the front porch - he now draws the connection.  I remind him of the butt dial stripper talk.  Of the stained yellow sheets, because this MAJOR JA . . . STILL pees in the bed.  They both just sit there and listen to me.

I know his net worth, I know where they live, the car they drive, where the kids are in school - this world is small and our little circle is much smaller. 

The crazy consuming wife made all this my business because she was in the business of me and my family.  Otherwise, she would have been wallpaper.  Had she not be so consumed with my family I would not have thought twice about her or know how she broke in her trainers home, how she made passes at him, how she broke into his email account while at her training session and deleted emails from his girlfriend but ONLY after forwarding them to herself.  OR how they hired someone to go to their foreclosed on home on Lake Travis and rip out the appliances that are now in the home in Highland Park.

My husband's firm takes the case.  They take it on an hourly rate.  There is no guarantee they can beat a $31M judgment.  They are specialist at this type of stuff.  I tell him to initially stay in the background because of the weirdness of the wife, just advise from afar.  They determine this is the best plan.  So they enter into an agreement to represent him.

Lots of legal stuff happens.  Lots of legal words are used.  Lots of strategy.  Lots of research.  Depos, Mediation, Strategy sessions and then . . .

$31M judgment . . . set aside! Meaning - he doesn't have to pay it anymore.  The huge ass $31M debt he had just minutes ago . . . GONE!  He is elated!  My husband and his partner are in awe of the decision.  MAJOR Jerk and his wife celebrate.  We celebrate with his partner.  Everyone is happy!

MAJOR Jerk celebrates by moving the rest of his assets around.  These were the assets that had previously been frozen due to the $31M judgment.  He now has no assets in his name.

We celebrate in a more simple fashion - crawfish at Pappadeaux on the patio with a Cat 5 beverage.  Oh, the simple things!  I am there to drive my husband home; his partner has a driver as well.  Great night for all!

This brings me back to this morning . . . While sitting in morning carpool . . . singing to the radio . . . Jake and I just hanging out until the teachers arrive to open the car doors.  We are talking about his day . . . about how many lessons he is going to get done . . . will he play on the playground . . . and for him to be sure to take his jacket . . .

and . . . There HE is!  The deadbeat of all deadbeats.  Biggest ass on the face of the earth.  There he stands with his two boys holding signs up for the Boy Scouts Can Food Drive.

Just the sight of him boils my blood.  I despise him. 

There he sits all smug, with his white Mercedes, his custom made suits, his Bruno Magli shoes, sending his boys to private school to the tune of $34K a year, living on one of the most expensive streets in Dallas in a home listed at $9.9M with nannies, cleaning ladies, yard men, pool men and guess what . . . He won't pay his legal bill!

This deadbeat, ass, MAJOR Jerk, won't pay his bill.  We have attempted to collect - he threatened with a malpractice lawsuit.  He would have to prove negligence, um negligence . . . after having a $31M judgment set aside . . . I think not.  He then tells them to sue.

This is where we are today and this is really why I hate this man . . .

He owes my husband's firm a substantial amount of money for services rendered.  He owes the firm gratitude!  He owes the men who lost time from their families to work for him, the respect of paying them.  He OWES them for the simple reason he didn't owe his partner $31M.

I really don't care what he does with his life, his wife or their problems.  It troubles me that the money he is rufusing to pay is owed to some hardworking men trying to provide for their families.  Trying to be good examples for their son's and being overall good guys!

I know the M A J O R Jerk, Deadbeat, Jack Ass will get his . . . one day.