Tuesday, January 10, 2012

The Things We'll Do . . .

I have always been the cruise director type.  No matter where we live, social groups we are in - I am the social organizer, the cruise director.  Monthly dinners, trips to our lake house, girl's nights out, play dates, game night, swim day and so on.  I am the organizer.

We had a good group of friends when we lived in Plano.  Girls I knew from Junior League.  We were all very similar - stay at home moms, children, volunteers, like minded and extremely sarcastic - you know fun girls!

Since my husband had an online company that worked primarily in Hong Kong we operated on HK hours.  He had very few nights off, mostly Friday and Sunday.  He is very much a home body so I would organize once a month for our friends to gather at our house for cocktails & appetizers, then we would head out to dinner.

It had always hurt my feelings when I would invite a certain couple, we will call Northern Betty & Jerk.  Every time I invited them it was "no" and some excuse. Northern Betty would say things like "oh, next month" or "let's get together."  It got to the point where I didn't want to invite them anymore because I was tired of being told no.  My husband say it was the right thing to do, "who cares if they come or not."  My mother said, "if they want to come they will find a way."  It was hard to swallow but I accepted she was probably right.  I stopped inviting them - 3 "no we can't attend" and you are out!

I have found Goo's words to ring true across the board.

Unfortunately, what I thought were good friendships, have come and gone.  I realized a friendship cannot be a one way street - it must be two.  It seems we weren't important enough to our friends, Ali and Alex once we moved down into Dallas.  I would call to say hello - invite them over - invited them to the lake house - we even contributed to his election campaign - his largest private donor.  And we weren't important enough to be someone they would make time for.  They just didn't want to make time for us.  I am frustrated now that we cared, donated and provided for - and we simply didn't make their list. What's a girl gotta do?

I am as guilty as Northern Betty & Jerk, as well as Ali and Alex.  There are those that I have let down.  It wasn't personal for me - I just didn't want to, care to, or want to pretend to care to be interested.  I feel guilty about it, something I am sure my past friends don't share.  Unfortunately, there just isn't time for everything that everyone asks of us.  Therefore, we have to figure out what is important to us.

There are a million other things and people that I would drop everything for.  I have a long list of causes, people, events that I make time for.  I am there to serve food at the school's cafeteria so my child feels he is loved and that his parents care.  I financially support an organization that allowed my grandmother to stay in her house with assistance until she passed.  I support my friends who walk 60 miles in support of finding a cure for breast cancer.  I support my friend Rebekah's cause because it is important to her.  I call/email/text girl friends just to catch up - so that they know I care.  I remember details - of who is having surgery when, what special thing is going on in their lives and I organize.  I continue to organize dinners out, trips, play dates, girl's nights out, pokeno games, swim days and so on.   I show up for these people and their events because they are there for me.  They make my list.

What/Who is on your list?

Happy Pinning.

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