I recently got a text from another school mom, Pam. It read "Please call me when you can talk." Pam doesn't usually communicate this way so an alarm goes off for me! I sat back to figure out and digest the text. BTW -Thank Heavens for text messaging. I texted Pam back that I was at swimming and couldn't talk - then asked if everything was ok. She didn't answer my question but only replied, "no problem - just call when you can." Alarm # 2.
We leave swimming but I don't call her back. I want to get my ducks in a row. Over dinner I ask our oldest son why he thought James' mom would call me. He is initially vague, but later says there was an verbal altercation and maybe James' feeling were hurt.
The next day I was up at school doing my cafeteria shift. I ran into James and I asked him, "Hey, I got a text from your mommy, do you know anything about it?" He said he did and he told me his side of the story. The stories didn't match - the only similarity was that the boys had been speaking to each other. I told James, "you know your story is very different" than my son's. I want to talk to him again before I talk to his mom.
I spoke with my son a second time. I shared with him James' story. He said "but Mom, he was annoying me, every time I spoke he just started talking over me with nonsense. I asked him to be quiet and he just kept going and going." I told my son, I do not like getting called like this. I do not believe I should get in the middle of you boys and that the boys should be responsible enough to work it out.
He asked what he could do to solve the problem. I suggested calling James and simply telling him - it is clear we do not see eye to eye on what happened but I want to apologize for hurting your feelings.
I am not sure when it began. Perhaps in childhood? Perhaps at school? Perhaps it is genetic? I cannot tell you when me saying "I'm Sorry" became so difficult. It is like pulling teeth with no pain meds and a bulnt instrument. Maybe I don't say it because I consider it weak? Or is it a win/lose thing? Or because I feel I am wrong so often why bother!
I Just Cannot Do It!
Seeing my son call, apologize and putting his friendship first over him feeling he was right was awesome to watch. My son so effortlessly did what I struggle to do. I love the man he is becoming.