Skinny Bitch Drama . . .

I swear . . . if teaching children was my profession . . . I would be in jail!

Today was the last Teacher Appreciation luncheon for the year.  My rein of Head Teacher Appreciation Co-Chair is over.  As I like to day . . . Done & Done!

I so could have used that little bit of extra sleep this morning but instead I was up early, my sweet husband prepared breakfast for our sons and I.  6:14 am came early!  I stumble out of bed, cursing the concept of me volunteering.  I want to sleep in . . . I want to no-show for the luncheon . . .I want . . . to be anywhere but getting ready to go to school.

Once we reached school it was 7:31am.  My son and I unload the car.  4 foot bull pinata in hand I parade past carpool and on to the luncheon.

Our theme was Mexican.  Everyone eats fajitas well! It was a successful luncheon even though the catering company was 10 minutes late.  We had people waiting . . .

All the teachers, admin staff, early childhood staff, maintenance, lawn crews and anyone else that receives a paycheck from Greenhill comes and enjoys a lunch of fajitas and Bob Armstrong Dip . . .YUM!

Around 12:40 there is no one new coming through the line.  And one by one these three mothers come in.  Not one spoke to me . . . They took the clues from my Co-Chair and I that it was time to clean up.  I give verbal instruction to combine the chicken, rice, Bob Armstrong, fresh fruit and so on.  I asked them to throw away the sour cream, the 2 extra containers of pico.  We threw out the almost empty beans and guacamole in favor of opening up the new one.

Our marching orders were to combine, consolidate and clean up.  Three extra helpers arrive while we were cleaning up. Instead of cleaning up these women went about making themselves a plate. 1 - They are not staff or teachers 2 - They volunteered to help 3 - They are helping themselves by feeding their faces.

One makes a veggie fajita with guacamole.  And oh my Gosh . . . "I bet I gain a full pound for eating this",  Another chimes in . . . I am so trying to get rid of this baby fat . . . I bet I gain 2 pounds from eating the Bob Armstrong. They are one upping each other in terms of who is going to gain more . . . who needs to loose more and who can count her calories most accurately.

My co-chair and I just look at each other - working around these women stuffing their faces, yet worried about the calories.  As we are clearing up one volunteers (so very kind of her) to take the food home for the weekend so it won't go bad.

I explain we actually take it to the Lower School Admin building and set it up in the teacher's lounge so that the teachers can make themselves an afternoon snack or meal for dinner. 

And just when I thought this skinny bitch couldn't be anymore self serving she suggested they wouldn't know how much was left and therefore I didn't need to take it - she could take it home.

I preceded with my plan and she modified hers. 

My volunteers . . . a mother with a Pre-K child . . . skinny bitch . . . went and made her family a take home box from the luncheon left overs.

I am told the teacher at our private school are only slightly better paid than their public school counter parts.  With this knowledge . . . I have to wonder what in this mother's brain says it is ok to take from people who love your child, spend all day with your child, educate your child and tolerate you?

Perhaps she is this way because she is a skinny bitch, and we all know skinny bitches are unhappy.  They are SO unhappy because they have to watch their calories, drop baby weight immediately and cannot eat anytime they want!


Imagine how nice she would be with a little meat on her bones . . .