Husbands . . .

Not so long ago I was sitting in a Junior League meeting.  I was on the Nominating Placement committee.  Our committee was charged with the responsibility of identifying new leadership, determining chairmen and putting forth a slate of new officers for the general membership to vote on. 

During one of our marathon weekend, where we went away so we could read all the questionnaires submitted by those seeking leadership and reviewing the interviewed candidates, we took a quick break.  This was day two of our weekend, we had only one more day to get this portion of the leadership done.

We were standing in the kitchen of a friend's lake house.  Everyone refreshing their drinks and getting a snack to push through the next four house when a girlfriend started to complain about having to be away this weekend.

Who Does This . . .

I raced around this afternoon.

Had to get Jake at 11:45am.  Then off to the most hellish of places where all women who want to burden everyone with their crying baby go to have lunch, Purple Cow.  I am rushing Jake to get his drink order in.  And he changes his mind three times before we can place an order. The waiter didn't want to take our order then, he wants to get the drinks first.

Now if you have every been to, this more adored by children and hated by mother's who don't have crying children, of a placed called Purple Cow you would know they are slow.  I knew it and I went anyway with a very packed day.  See, I thought we would be smarter - we could get in and get out before that noisey group got there.  I was foiled!

The "Did You Know" Girl . . .

I have a really good friend who I so enjoy.  She is a bit sarcastic, a bit of a perfectionist and the perfect amount of snotty!  I adore her for all of these reason.  We met 4 years ago at a new parent orientation.  And we have been tight ever since.

My friend is a bit of a Martha Stewart.  She gardens, makes clothes, not many, for her son, volunteers and at times works at the school as a substitute.  She is also a SAHM but she is far more productive than I am.

My friend is often in the know and when she wants me to know she says "Did you know" . . . and then spills the beans.  I usually love these little chat we have.  She generally operates out of facts, not a real gossip monger type.  She is generally careful with her words also.  I call tell when she calls, her voice gives her away, that she has something she wants me to know.

You Is Kind . . .

Recently I was in carpool line, waiting to drop Jake off.  It seems the car in front of me had a reluctant little girl who didn't want to go to school that day.  As is protocol, you wait in line, you don't try to jump ahead, race around the car to move up to another drop off spot.  After all we are talking about kids, young children getting out of cars and walking into school.  Anything could happen - the kid could chase after their car, drop something, step off the curb . . . anything.

So, as reluctant Sally gets out of the car and the door shuts, off goes mom.  I start to move ahead and some dad in a small SUV whips around me, cuts me off all so he can unload his precious cargo a tad bit faster.  I, of course, throw up the "what the hell" hands.  You know, both arms fly up, no one finger more pointy than the other, palms to the sky.  He ignores me, which I am kinda grateful for after realizing we are in our school carpool and I have a very distinct vehicle, a black Hummer, the big kind. Hard to miss, easy to remember.

Warning Labels . . .

Our oldest son has asked all week to have a friend over to spend the night.  I had kinda put him off with the  "I'll talk to Dad" move.  Then he asks again.  He is totally into this new Wii game that has swept the world and created a back order of game pieces!  The game is called Skylander.

He and his buddies are talking major sleep overs with several kids bringing their Skylander pieces and hubs.  Linking them to several tvs in our house.  How we need to buy more Wii stations so everyone can play at the same time in the same house.

Finally, mid morning Dad and I have talked.  He hears my reservation about this sleep over which has nothing to do with the young man coming over but more punitive on my part because I think our oldest needs to be taught a lesson and the friend is the consequence.  Dad talks me off the mean horrible parent fence and we place a call for a sleep over.

Blogs, What I Like . . .

So, I am new to this writing blogs stuff.  I am sure it is pretty evident.  I don't know what attracts an audience, what topics are good and you can believe there is no master plan for generating any revenue with this!

I started this blog thinking I would find some words of encouragement off Pinterest.  I would "like" the words, then "Pin" them to my board.  I would then write about how I applied those words or how it affects my family.  Clearly, HUGH SUCCESS, I have two readers . . . my mother and my sister.  Thank you mom and Julie for thinking this is a good idea! Honestly - don't all mother's have to like what their child does? So Julie might be my only true reader?

Organization . . . Can it be taught?

WHY can't I be Samantha from Bewitched?  I can do the nose wiggle, and no doubt I have the nosey neighbor. I'm a stay at home mom and he goes off to work.  My husband is tall with dark hair, I am blond and our first born is a blond also.  See - I am a perfect fit for her life!

Samantha could fix any situation, Darren's meeting going bad - wiggle wiggle- everything is great!  Nosey neighbor Glady, thinks she sees something that is out of place - wiggle wiggle - nothing out of place.  Darren calls to say he is bringing home clients - wiggle wiggle - dinner in a flash! How I wish I was Samantha.

Customer Service . . .

 

LOYALTY - noun - the quality of being loyal to someone or something.

Here in Texas there is a saying, Dance with the One that Brung Ya.  It is one I have know for quiet sometime. Somewhat of a guiding principal. It is easy enough to understand, basically a stick with your date kinda thing.

Or maybe not . . .

It Is What It Is . . .

Wednesday night about midnight I was shopping online.  I came across the sign below, It Is What It Is.  I loved it - so I pinned it.  I say this all the time, and b o n u s it drives my sister crazy! CRAZY!

I realized this sign was popular when over 2500 pinned or liked it in less than 24 hours.  The comments were in either one of two groups - the "I hate this saying, It's a cop out"  or "I say this all the time" group.

My sister and I - who come from the same parents, raise in the same house,and have experienced many of the same things in life  - completely differ on this saying.  We will call the side that agrees with the saying TEAM JENNIFER and the side that COMPLETELY disagrees with it TEAM JULIE.  We shall hash it out, family style!

Blessed Beyond . . .

BOY, HAS THIS BEEN A WEEK!!! 

I just received an email from my 4 year olds school.  It seems his classmate, Chloe, passed away.  Chloe had been daignosed about a year and a half ago with a brain tumor.  She and Jake were about the same age.  When I saw her in December at a birthday party she was much smaller than the rest of the kids.  She didn't have the drive to play, and didn't speak much.

I cannot go into detail all her parents felt, witnessed, experienced or the nights they didn't sleep thinking about and praying for their child.  I don't know those details.  All I know is Chloe was a sweet little girl whose life was cut way too short and her family is doing the best they can to survive.

5th Grade Girls . . .

I can recall in 5th grade my best friend Heather W. and I were not nice girls.  We would make fun of Jacob F - who couldn't tie his shoes or ever bother putting them on the right feet.  We made fun of Susan D - who showed her underwear when bending over and we made fun of Bonnie W who would pour glue in the well of her desk, let it dry and then eat it.

In 5th grade these were some of the most horrible offenses according to Heather and I.  Seriously - was there nothing better to do than see if Susan's undies were showing or Jacob's shoes were untied?  We didn't limit ourselves to just these three - we shared our special form of attention on just about everyone! We felt it was our right to put people in their place - point out their flaws.  To show them how we were better.  

In the End . . .

I recently learned a neighbor of mine had passed away.  I suspect he was early to mid 80s.  He was kind, talkative, and very well organized.  He would email our street with anything important, bobcats in the area, unapproved solicitors or holiday parties.  I never had to worry about missing something because I knew Gene was on it.

Gene was a gentleman.  He was a good guy from way back.  In fact he was helping a friend into her car when he sustained the injury that led to his death.  Gene was assisting a friend into her car when she lost her balance, fell on Gene who then fell to the ground.  He hopped back up, I am sure out of pride just like we all do, despite being hurt.  Gene said he was ok and everyone went on about their evening.

It was approximately midnight when I was sitting in my office.  I had the shutters closed but knew when I heard a heavier engine than normal coming down the street something must have happened.  I looked up just in time to see the flashing lights come through the tiny openings that was left in the closed shutters.  I hoped for the best, hoped it was just some fluke and that all was fine.

The Things We'll Do . . .

I have always been the cruise director type.  No matter where we live, social groups we are in - I am the social organizer, the cruise director.  Monthly dinners, trips to our lake house, girl's nights out, play dates, game night, swim day and so on.  I am the organizer.

We had a good group of friends when we lived in Plano.  Girls I knew from Junior League.  We were all very similar - stay at home moms, children, volunteers, like minded and extremely sarcastic - you know fun girls!

Since my husband had an online company that worked primarily in Hong Kong we operated on HK hours.  He had very few nights off, mostly Friday and Sunday.  He is very much a home body so I would organize once a month for our friends to gather at our house for cocktails & appetizers, then we would head out to dinner.

Bless Your . . .

I grew up in a small Texas town.  Everyone knew everyone else and most likely all their business.  My sister and I went to the same high school as our father, aunts, uncle and their uncle.  My great grandmother was one of the first residents of our small town and lived over by the rail road tracks.  By all accounts our small town was semi rural.

My sister, Julie, and I would ride our bikes, play game outside way after dark and never feared a stranger - after all we knew just about everyone.  Church was every Sunday morning and Wednesday night.  Sleep overs happened quickly and often. We would often come home and find friends playing on the trampoline or basketball in the back yard.  It was a close knit community.

We grew up in a time where you used yes mam's, and no sirs.  Where every adult was called by their last name and where children had chores and helped around the house.  I think fondly of those Sunday afternoons when we would race out of church to go have lunch at my grandparents.  The whole family together for probably one of three Sunday special meals - fried chicken, pot roast or spaghetti!

I Struggle and He Does It With Ease . . .

I recently got a text from another school mom, Pam.  It read "Please call me when you can talk."  Pam doesn't usually communicate this way so an alarm goes off for me!  I sat back to figure out and digest the text.  BTW -Thank Heavens for text messaging.  I texted Pam back that I was at swimming and couldn't talk - then asked if everything was ok.  She didn't answer my question but only replied, "no problem - just call when you can." Alarm # 2.

We leave swimming but I don't call her back.  I want to get my ducks in a row.  Over dinner I ask our oldest son why he thought James' mom would call me.  He is initially vague, but later says there was an verbal altercation and maybe James' feeling were hurt.

The next day I was up at school doing my cafeteria shift.  I ran into James and I asked him, "Hey, I got a text from your mommy, do you know anything about it?"  He said he did and he told me his side of the story.  The stories didn't match - the only similarity was that the boys had been speaking to each other.  I told James, "you know your story is very different" than my son's.  I want to talk to him again before I talk to his mom.

I spoke with my son a second time.  I shared with him James' story.  He said "but Mom, he was annoying me, every time I spoke he just started talking over me with nonsense. I asked him to be quiet and he just kept going and going."  I told my son, I do not like getting called like this.  I do not believe I should get in the middle of you boys and that the boys should be responsible enough to work it out.

He asked what he could do to solve the problem. I suggested calling James and simply telling him - it is clear we do not see eye to eye on what happened but I want to apologize for hurting your feelings. 

Now anyone who knows me well knows I don't apologize easily.  Especially to those I love. 

I am not sure when it began.  Perhaps in childhood? Perhaps at school? Perhaps it is genetic?  I cannot tell you when me saying "I'm Sorry" became so difficult.  It is like pulling teeth with no pain meds and a bulnt instrument.  Maybe I don't say it because I consider it weak? Or is it a win/lose thing? Or because I feel I am wrong so often why bother!

I      Just       Cannot       Do       It!

Seeing my son call, apologize and putting his friendship first over him feeling he was right was awesome to watch.  My son so effortlessly did what I struggle to do.  I love the man he is becoming.

Happy Pinning!

Disorderly Organization, I own it!

Truthfully, I don't own it.  Being "disorderly" is frowned upon, it is seen as a weakness, so I don't own it.  I do privately accept it.  I have a tendency to be "disorderly".  There I said it - Is there a DA group meeting right now?

I am always amazed, she says in a strong sarcastic tone, how "everyone", specifically my husband and sister, tell me how I am so disorganized and how I need to do this or that!  I hear you need to stop pinning and pick this up, or if you filed you could find this, or just file 5 mins everyday, or buy the supplies you need to make this happen,or, or, or - I could go on for days.  DAYS I tell you!  Everyone has "their" system and according to them it is universally the best thing ever! 

I recognize I need more "order" in my life.  My excuses, YES EXCUSES, for this "disorder" are as follows:

1 - I manage 8 to 10 people's needs on any given day!  You see, there is our family of 4 - I need to manage our schedules, meals, household, school, sports, work, charity events, vacations, summer camps, hosting parties and volunteering at both of the boys schools and in our community.  There is my mother & sister - they have to be worked into the system - both want to see our boys - do dinner, get together and I hold their private documents for safe keeping (can you believe the sister trusted me since I have such a "disorderly" office)?  Then the in-laws - he is usually flying, being that he is a commercial pilot - so when Sr. comes into town - things get dropped and moved to accommodate him seeing our boys.  There is Mimi who doesn't require a whole lot but still needs managed - what time is dinner, want to do lunch, when can I see the boys - general stuff like that.  Mimi has a killer travel schedule.  Then there is the only non-family member who I need to manage - our house cleaner.  Schedule changes, never knowing when she is showing up, keeping things picked up for her, making sure she has supplies, and so on.  Keep in mind I AM NOT COMPLAINING I get to "manage" all of this - I am simply "EXCUSING" my disorder!

2 - My husband's business - AGAIN NOT COMPLAINING - when he decided to leave his partnership at a downtown firm and open his own business I became the secretary.  Filing, scanning, emails, follow-up, maintaining records - the paper goes on and on AND ON!  Paper is my nnemesis! Being that we have a personal business I have to maintain impeccable records in the event of an audit - so every receipt, charitable donation, medical EOB, saving account, bank account, check written, home improvement, monthly bill, credit card statements all find a place - in the middle of my desk.

3 - My desire - I have no desire to file, scan, maintain records, followup on request and so on.  No desire what so ever!   Well, possibly a little desire - the desire to not go to jail for a bad tax return. But other than that . . .

I feel my excuses are valid, despite the woe is me comping from the peanut gallery!. 

So, I recently started the yearly process of getting our taxes together - every piece of paper (yes, I know if it has already been filed it could already be done) gets sorted and placed in special labeled enveloped.  Then documents get scanner, spreadsheets created and forwarded to various people.

It was while I was going through my "organization box" a 33 gallon plastic tub from Target, that I found a most exciting discovery.  I found a Christmas present I needed to wrap just short 2 weeks ago.



My "exciting discovery" was a book from a series my husband enjoys.  I had bought the book before it ever came out - was so excited about giving it to him and there it sat in the filing bucket. Damn you filing bucket - got me again.  Why couldn't it be the scarf I had ordered for myself, why did it HAVE to be a gift for him?

I am not sure I will confess this "exciting discovery" was "temporarily misplaced" in the filing.  You see, back when we first started dating in 1988, there was this Christmas gift that I misplaced in the back of my closet.  As a result I didn't have a present for him.  23 years ago it was "misplaced" and it has only been in the last 3 to 4 years the story has died down but now . . . it seems my "disorderly" filing busts me.  You can bet I won't live this one down anytime soon.

What exciting discoveries have you found recently in your disorder?  Assuming, of course, you are not my sister or husband, who both have no disorder!

Happy Pinning

I think I can . . . I think I can . . .

We all have read the book The Little Train that Could, we all know the story.  A train up against big odds think he can get the job done and he does!  Great moral to the story. It is something I often forget, the power of thinking positive, of believing in yourself!

Recently, Sweet Baby Jake, or SBJ as we call him, turned 4.  We go for the annual check-up where I talk to the Dr. about my concerns. 

Day 3 . . . A Possible Code of Conduct?

I decided to take Spanish in high school so I could understand what my boyfriend's parents were saying about me.  Little did I know, it wasn't much!  Fortunately, some of the Spanish I learned stuck and I use it frequently.  I use it when we travel.  I use it when I want to talk to my husband (yup, same guy from high school) about our children. And I use it to tell my children to do things.  Did you get that?  TELL them!!!  I use the command form, I learned in Spanish many years ago, to TELL them to do things.

I will say things like:

Cierre la puerta - Close the door.

Venga aqui - Come here.

Cepillo de dientes - Brush your teeth.

In Spanish and in English the "YOU" being you, is understood.  When I say cierra la puerta - you know I am telling you to close the door.  So, when I read this sign the YOU is understood as well.  You must work hard! You must use kind words. You must remember you are loved!

We have a sign in our kitchen similar to this one.  It read Portela Family Rules.  These rules are commands to my children, my husband, our family and all those that enter.  They are not made to be broken, they must be adhere to. 

As I guide our two young men, that I love so dearly, through life I command them to Work Hard, Be Proud of Yourself, Use Kind Words and Always tell the Truth.  The Portela Family Rules serve as a code of conduct.  This code of conduct provides our boys with something to live by, something to help them conduct themselves, it gives them a safety net to know what is expected of them!

Unfortunately, my Spanish isn't good enough to say to you everything on this sign.  But know, in my best command voice, I say to you . . . remember you are loved!

Happy Pinning!